Are you single and want to find true love? Can’t you find the right person? When having a hard time in finding love, many people often become discouraged and start believing destructive myths about dating and love.
Live a single life offers many things, being free to go wherever you want, follow your personal dreams and appreciating the quiet moments of being alone. But this can also drive you crazy if you are ready to share your life with someone you want to give all your love you can offer.
For many of us, our emotional baggage can be a roadblock in finding the ideal romantic partner. Perhaps you were raised in a household where there was not something called a role model in a form of your parents who showed you a healthy relationship. You maybe even doubt that real love exists. Or you always feel attracted to the wrong type of partners. It can also be that the environments where you put yourself, are not the perfect places to find love and because of this, you feel insecure.
Whatever the case may be, you can overcome your obstacles. These tips can help you to find a healthy, loving relationship that will last.
What is a healthy relationship?
A healthy relationship is when two people develop a connection based on:
- Mutual respect
- Good communication
- Sense of humor
Source: UW Seattle
Reconsider your previous thoughts about dating and relationships
The first step to finding love is to reconsider some of your previous thoughts about dating and relationships that may hold you back from finding true love. Try to reset your mind you can start again with no negative thoughts towards finding love and dating. See all your previous experiences as something you learned of instead of something you feel bad about.
Expectations about dating and finding love
The moment when we start trying to find someone to spend the rest of your life with, people tend to set a list of high and unrealistic expectations. These may be based on your previous experiences or maybe even movies you watched. All these high and unrealistic expectations often lead to misunderstandings and arguments. So try to prevent these high and unrealistic expectations.
In the end, a relationship is based on wants and needs. Wants include things such as occupation, intellect and physical aspects like height. Some traits seem very important for you at first, but over time you will possibly find out that you are limiting your choices. For example, humor might be more important that wealth. While at first you might feel attracted to someone who is very rich. Or someone who is really caring might be better for you than a very beautiful person.
Needs are different than wants because needs are those qualities that matter to you most, such as values, ambitions or goals in life. These are probably not the things you can find out about a person by seeing them walking down the street or by looking at their profile. For getting to know someone’s needs, you really need to know someone.
What feels right to you?
When looking for lasting and true love, forget what looks right, forget what you think should be right, and forget what your friends, parents, or other people think is right, and ask yourself: Does the relationship feel right to me?
Dating tip 1: Keep it realistic
Don’t search for a relationship in the middle of your life. Concentrate on activities you enjoy such as your career, health, and relationships with family and friends. When you keep yourself happy, it will keep your life balanced and make you a more special person when you do meet someone special.
Be honest about your own flaws. Everyone has flaws, and for with true love, the person loves you how you are. What you consider as a flaw, may be something your lover will like about you.
Tip 2: Make a genuine connection
The dating game can be nerve wracking from time to time. People tend to overthink about how they come across while dating and if the other person will like you or not. But please don’t be shy or socially awkward, you can overcome your nerves.
Be interested. When you’re interested about someone else’s thoughts, manners, and experiences, they will appreciate that for sure. You’ll come across as far more attractive and interesting than if you only talk about yourself and how fantastic you are. And if you aren’t genuinely interested in your date, which can happen, there’s little point in pursuing the relationship further.
Pay attention. Make sure to actively listen to the other person. By paying close attention to what they say, you will quickly start to know each other.
Put your smartphone away.Using your smartphone during a conversation shows that you are not interested in their story. This surely is not the intention on the first date. So try to put your phone away during the date so you have your full attention while being there.
Tip 3: Put a priority on having fun
Online dating, singles events, and things like speed dating are fun for some people, but others don’t feel comfortable at all. And whatever dating experts might tell you, there is a big difference between finding the right career and finding true love. At least try to have fun during a date. Talk about things you find important in life and show interest into their story by asking questions.
Tip 4: Deal with trust issues
Mutual trust is the basis of any close personal relationship. Trust doesn’t happen overnight; it develops over time as your connection with another person deepens. However, it may be difficult to trust someone for some people due to earlier experiences in their life with trusting someone they did not knew for so long.
If you have trust issues, your romantic relationships will be dominated by anxiety. Anxiety of being betrayed by the other person, anxiety of being let down or fear of being cheated on. However, it is possible to learn to trust somebody. You can find help by the right therapist or people who you really trust like family. Talking about your anxiety should definitely help solving them.